...whirl of words...

...where is my summer??...

yup..thats my question..where is my summer?? guess summer forgot russia this year..hang on..how can you forget a country spaning thousands of miles, being almost as huge as a continent itself?? well, its true..we had the winter, then spring, skipped summer altogether and stepped right into autumn..thats not fair..or maybe ony the nizhny area is weird..

occasional showers are cool, 1 or 2 times a week is okay, once a day is still acceptable but several showers a day is ridiculous..it wudnt be sooo bad if it jus poured and is over and done with it in an hour..these intermittent rain episodes are driving me crazy..the last two years havent been this way..the sun is hardly ever out, its dull and gray and potentially depressing..

its saturday and i m lazing out at home..i wudnt say i m bored cos i got some 'activities' going on..went for practicals yesterday..it was like normal..pearly ALMOST did an IV injection but the nurse decided to do it herself..so next monday, we are gonna go prepared with caps and gloves to stick some needles into our test subjects..that sounds like a mean scientist talking to his guinea pigs..haha..well, if we are lucky enuff, i might jus learn how to inject this time..

i love this time of the year around..its great fun to shop cos there are sales everywhere..since i've oredy made a few cycles of the shops in mega, i pretty well know wat they have, the price range and things like that..and none of 'em were as cool as compared to the ones i saw in oggi down in pakrov yesterday..as pearly put it, i almost bought the whole shop, haha..it was a pretty good deal that i cudnt resist..and mind you that it wasnt all for me - i have 3 midgets back home to surprise..all in all, i'm pretty happy with wat i got..now i have to get that souvenir for the uncle and something for daddy, reload the phone and i'm all set to travel by friday..

they are having this free orchestra shows down at the kremlin which we watched yesterday..i wudnt say it was spectacular cos i was expecting some old classics that i might have come across..instead, we were serenaded by an entirely different kind of musical fusion, headed by a very young and talented conductor, who could hardly have been more than 18..it was a great show nevertheless and i enjoyed it very mucho..

so now i have the entire day in my hands and i'm figuring out wat to do..i have terrible discipline..i've been meaning to get on with my notes which i have to prepare, but i jus cant find the will to sit myself down and open the book..thats wat i've been dreading..i know that the holidays are a great distraction and all i ever wanna do is go back home, sleep, eat, watch movies and go out lepaking..pharmaco is gonna have to wait for awhile - suicidal??

...around...

today was yet another day wasted..why is that so?? becos i didnt get anything done today..and why was that again?? summer illness..the dean's office shud really get in touch with their personnel more often..otherwise, lil' midget students like us are gonna have to spend lots of time runnin around pointless..it all begins this way..

havin decided to do the summer practicals here, we proceeded to give our names to the teacher in charge who asked for it, so that she may look into the necessary arrangements that need to be made..that was like, uh i dunno, maybe 6 months ago?? anyway, when we went to the dean's last friday, it was so packed that we decided to collect watevr letter that they had on monday..come monday, we went all the way to the dean's only to be told that they have no record of our names there at all, and that we had to come back again the following day to see another dude..the following day, 1st july, was when nava finished her pat.phys exam..and she had been askin me to accompany her to mega for a very looong time, to which i agreed..so, i wasnt there when some lady told pearly that no letter was required and that we were to go to avdonin, who apparently was in charge for both SURGERY and THERAPY..apparently this piece of information slipped past the minds of all those who conveniently forgot to mention this..and apparently, it was something new to avdonin as well, cos when we met him at the hospital this morning, he was surprised to know that he would be supervising us too..and since we were not in our surgical suits becos we were under the impression that we were doing therapy, we were sent back home again..so, the real practicals starts only 2moro, havin been delayed twice..not that i'm complaining, but things are starting to get stale and boring around here..

well first of all, i've been spending the last few days avidly bidding my farewells to everyone on the floor and reminding them to not forget their chargers and stuff like that..then today morning, i slept at about 1am, after a movie, hehe..then, woke up at 4am to wake nava up so that she can get ready to catch the van to moscow at 6am..yada yada yada..6am came and i got outta bed to carry the bags downstairs and stuff..then chatter, chatter, chatter up til 7 when the van left and the three of us were left standing out there - me, pearly, azeelia ( is that how you spell it?? ) = the last 3 to leave the following week..and later tonite, the last of em will be gone and i will be left on the floor alone with ian and dinesh at the other end of the corridor..and even they are leaving earlier than i m..

which is when i realised that :

1) the floor is gonna be freakin quiet - it alredy is..

2) i m gonna be freakin bored..

3) nobody's comin online or updating their blogs - all the more boring..

4) no one's gonna see me off - 'cept maybe emmy

5) no one's gonna help me carry the bags - i'll manage hopefully..

6) saturday the 11th is still a looong way away..

7) i m oredy feeling depressed..

8) my fridge is well stocked in its last few days..

...summer time...

the first batch of peepz heading back home left yesterday..and after this, one by one, all of em will be trickling out til there'll be no one left on 4th floor 'cept for me..boo hoo..actually, the moment i decided that i was postponing my pat.anat and bringing back pharmaco, i jus had the sudden urge to check online if there were any available seats on flights as early as possible..unfortunately for me, and fortunately for pearly, there weren't..screw emirates..its always packed to the max..and the flight is always delayed..maybe not always, i wudnt know..ask the emirates frequent flier, neville..but the last 2 flights i took, departed 1 hour and 30 mins late respectively..hmm..wonder how its gonna be like this time..

so the 2 peepz from our floor left..altogether there were 4 of em, heading to the vakzal to catch the train to moscow..shuda took off by now..i cant wait to go back home either but i shud be the last person to say that cos i AM the last person to go back home..how sad..nevertheless, i got pearly to keep me company..n i hope to have a great summer here..it hasnt been too great these past few days..

my perfect idea of summer is lots of happy people walkin around under the bright sun, deep blue clouds lightly sprinkled with white, green leaves rustling in the continous breeze, birds chirping, butterflies flying everywhere, brightly coloured flowers..

instead, i get either a very still day or an extremely windy one..i'd be hell lucky if i wasnt caught out in the rain with jus my baby-t cos i'd probably shiver all my energy away..it can be dusty..people arent soooo happy..talking on a public transport can become a nuisance - this old lady jus turned around and asked us to stop talking cos she was sick of it - IN ENGLISH!! that was a surprise by itself..of cos i cudnt be bothered about it, i mumbled a 'sorree' and carried on talkin anyway..u cant shut me up, haha..

went to the deans yesterday..had a load of things to do, but i managed to get it all done and now i have everything i need to head back home 'cept the seat on the flight..the deans was quite packed yesterday, so we cudnt get our practical letter..so we wud be heading back next monday to get it, and start a 2-week duel in a russian hospital..geez i cant wait..haha, hopefully i learn something more than what i did last year..hopefully..

woke up pretty early today..at about 9..and i decided that it was time to get started with the headache that is pharmaco..til now, i cudnt even open the front page..i'm feelin pretty lazy..wat more that there wont be any water for 2day and early 2moro..and i jus suddenly feel like rushing to the toilet..sheesh..

...post-exam boredom...

yeay..so i have officially putting an end to my exam mode today..though i have only, sad to say, settled 4 out the 5 exams on my schedule..irksome..i sooo wanted to get things over with..but it wasnt possible..shuda started off the month with pharmaco..probably then i wud have been able to scrap up everything..there's still about 4 days to go til the next 'proposed' exam date - july 1st..but its so the impossible to cover pharmaco in 4 days..it wud be madness to even attempt, so i'm not gona enroll myself..despite the rumours that there's yet another date - july 6th..hmm..sounds tempting..i m still weighing things over..to do or not to do..nice to have a choice eh?? n so i m still mulling..

havent blogged in a looooong time..though on and off i do have the feeling that i wanna type something out during the exam period..jus kept putting the entire thing off..i became more of a blog stalker, haunting the pages of others..some boring, some so lame it beats mine, some interesting..keeps my mind off things..

actually i m feelin way too free and unoccupied..blame it all on pat.anat..there was jus too much..then i had to postpone cos i know that if i had went on wit it, that wud have been a 3 on my book..or worse, if i had gotten artifeksova, that wudha been a 2!! and i wud still have had to postpone pharmaco anyways..

i smsed my mom, informing her of the potential 'situation' and the immediate reply was - call back home now..dreading, i called and calmly explained to her..her concern was that i wud have to repeat the year or something of the sort..i was choi, it wudnt be sooo bad..so anyways, she smsed again askin if it wud be possible to translate the results - ermm, i dun think thats possible..n i didnt get a reply d..ooppss..

almost everyone is bringing back something..mostly its pharmaco, so dugina is gona have a helluva time layaning us all when sem reopens..as far as i m concerned, about have 3 officially finished all 5 exams and are now 'seniors' - kiran, maalini,xiang bin..who else?? more coming up..nava wud be doing her last, pat.phys on monday or tuesday..so now i'm gona have to be as quiet as a rat..she's oredy started..n i m still bored..wat to do??

...exam mode...

its so abnormally quiet out there, what people say as pin-drop silence..yup, its very very weird on 4th floor..exam mode turned on and everyone is busy sinking their noses into watevr books and answer schemes that they can find..it feels so awkward to go out cos i think that if i chatter some1 up, one of those heads might poke out and say 'hey, keep it down, will ya?? people are trying to study here!!'..which is also one of the reasons why i constantly remind myself not to go around knocking on people's doors and disturbing em cos u may very well be unwelcomed..

with 5 exams this semester, i think everyone is feeling the pinch..maybe becos of the burden of the amount of knowledge you need to be filled with in such a short time or it may simply be the fear of whom you might get as an examiner - one wrong move and kreckk!! - u r gone..for most of us, i think its the latter..daily some1 mentions something about some examiner with detailed descriptions like "she loves to ask weird weird things" or "he asked something that was not in the book - like kbkk question" or "you have to know the schemes and flowcharts cos thats her favorite and she will definitely ask you as extra question"..haha..in a way, it gives you a basic idea of wat to expect but i feel that it rubs you the wrong way by making you fear of wats looming ahead..wat if you get that stupid q that no1 has an answer to or that part you didnt study well comes out or you forgot 1 out of the 5 causes or you mixed up the signs and symptoms or you are unable to explain the reason why something develops..

all in all, exams are terrifying, torturing, stressing and way too taxing..especially when you get teachers who dun teach and you're pretty much left to fend for yourself..so everything has to be done from scrap..who said it was gonna be easy??

so here i am, takin a break from studying path.physio and eating at the same time..i m trying to reduce the time spent on my laptop cos its such a huge distraction, otherwise the fella wud be turned for the good part of the day..even typing out this is worrisome and i constantly turn back to see if it disturbs the roomie - nope, she has her earplugs on..haha, mine's still in its packet - dun see the reason why i shud use em cos then no one wud hear the banging on the door..

basically my exam schedule was like this :

internal med : 10th june

surgery : 17th june

path.phys : 22nd june

path.anat : 26th june

pharmaco : 1st july

i planned to bring forward my path.phys to the 2nd of june and the rest according to the timetable..until rhun ping pointed out that there wasnt much time btw path.anat and pharmaco - i was under the impression that there was some amount of time in between..apparently i failed in math cos thats only a 4-day gap..so i had to make some rescheduling and this is how the new timetable would appear to be :

path.phys : 2nd june

internal med : 10th june

surgery : 16th june

path.anat : 22nd june

pharmaco : 1st july

i aspire to finish all this before heading home..hopefully..i hate to have to bring back something cos i jus know that i dun have the discipline to sit and study especially during holidays..so, here goes to poring over me books and loads of bad temper and stressed-out reactions coupled with malnutrition - CHEERS!!!

...super duper cb review - wat the cb shud hv done...

and so its friday again..the internet connection is considerably ok and i m in the mood to blog..so here i m sitting on my chair and wondering wat to write about..since i promised to post my super duper review on the games soon, this shall be it..

needless to say, i have been stalking around, haha..jus gettin feedback la..some hearsay..some comments..most made me pissed cos it was all about wat we didnt do..very few actually had something nice to say about wat we had done..ah, isnt it in all our genes to complain about wats not perfect??

so here's a compilation of a few measures that the committee shud have done (hereon referred to as cb) :

1) cb shuda jus stuck wit the proposed 750 rubles collection as proposed earlier..mind you that this matter was brought up and agreed upon even b4 we went back for summer break last year - if u were at the meeting of cos, with resulting letters sent back home to the parents which of cos never reached them..but of cos reducing the amount which may seem as a burden to many by half is still a burden nevertheless..

2) cb shuda have jus had a general meeting evry other week..apparently, there was a lack of meetings to inform people on all the going-ons..unfortunately, i might have failed to notice the hoards of people who stampeded their way to the hall for meetings..bad eyesight..

3) cb was made up of a small clique of frens..hmm..weird..i mean, who wud want to help a fren who asks for it rite?? cb shud have had a general meeting again cos people were jus dying to volunteer..maybe the cb shud have jus randomly chosen people to be in charge of some things instead of askin more reliable people who dedicated an entire 3 days for the games..i mean, if the randomly chosen people failed to turn up, there r always other random people to choose from right??

4) cb shud have posted fliers and posters all around town asking for sponsorships..there r sooo many people jus waiting to hand it out..i mean, if some random engineering student from the bogshead international university in bristol asks u for a sponsorship to organize an intervarsity games, u wud generously sponsor some amount rite??

5) cb shud hv jus made all the malaysian students cook for the participants from all universities..since the food was not good enuff..i mean, a team of 7 people can ony do so much for 90-over people..a team of 200 students cud hv done a better job rite?? our malaysian nite dinner has always been perfecto..

6) cb shud not have had asian woks and carnivals cos it seems that they have more than wat they need..and they shud not have done anything which was non-profitable to them..

7) cb shud jus put up wit people who shout at em, make lousy baseless comments and who in the end, fail to turn up for simple things such as a meeting, rehearsels and even the actual event..all becos they were so busy preparing for other things and lost their voice from shouting instructions and taunting players in the midst of a game..

8) cb shud be proud of the amount of people who turned up - they sacrificed valuable hours when they shud hv been at home doin revision or playing game or havin a good rest..players can do well without them..other universities can do the cheering..

9) the cb shud not have agreed to organise the games in the 1st place..with lack of manpower and volunteers, wat in the world made em think that they can pull it thru?? its madness, isnt it?? i mean, y do it if everyone else thinks you cant?? y do it when no one else wants to?? if you cant do it, then you shudnt have..leave it to more capable others who wud hv stepped up if you had stepped down..and jus becos it has been agreed upon that nizhny shud organise it, you dun necessarily have to, duh..

10) its the cb's fault that people r being such asses by not submitting forms and paying up..n its cb's fault that the sports complex didnt release prices til mid-march cos thats when the prices increase..tis the cb's fault too to have found such an expensive venue in all of nizhny - there r sooo many other places which can be accessed by different modes of transport..which invariably was the reason y so many turned up to cheer our fellow nizhnians..everything was cramped up in 1 huge sports complex - it was overwhelmingly packed and stuffy!!

all in all, the cb was at fault for many many things..for underestimations made, overexpectations unachieved..cb, cb..bad job, bad job..tsk tsk..

...tumhi dekho naa..

when it comes to songs and movies, i'm always at least a good three years late..but who cares?? music is meant to b forever..and one such song that has jus recently captured my interest is this one from kabhi alvida naa kehna..the movie was ok ok la..this song is a typical love song - coupled with the music and the singer's melodious voice, i have been captivated by it - cheh..and this is not a language that i understand - guess its true when they say that music crosses boundaries..

Tumhi dekho na yeh kya hogaya
Tumhara hoon main aur tum meri
Main heraan hoon tumhe kya kahoon
Ke din mein huyi kaise chandni
Jaagi jaagi si hai phir bhi khwabon mein hai
Khoyi khoyi zindagi

Tumhi dekho na yeh kya hogaya
Tumhara hoon main aur tum meri

Behake behake se mann
Mehake mehake se tann
Ujli ujli fizaaon mein hai
Aaj hum hai jahan kitni ranginiyaan
Chalki chalki nigahon mein hai
Neeli neeli ghataaon se hai chhan rahi halki halki roshni
Tumhi dekho na yeh kya hogaya
Tumhara hoon main aur tum meri
Main heraan hoon tumhe kya kahoon ke din mein huyi kaise chandni

Main toh anjaan thi yun bhi hoga kabhi
Pyar barsega yun toot ke
Ho! Sach yeh ikraar hai, sach yehi pyar hai
Baaki bandhan hai sab jhoot ke
Meri saanson mein hai ghul rahi pyar ki dheemi dheemi raagini

Tumhi dekho na yeh kya hogaya
Tumhara hoon main aur tum meri
Main heraan hoon tumhe kya kahoon ke din mein huyi kaise chandni
Jaagi jaagi si hai phir bhi khwabon mein hai
Khoyi khoyi zindagi

Tumhara hoon main aur tum meri...
Yeh din mein huyi kaise chandni...

and here are a few translations for a few lines from the song..i'm not gonna translate the whole song cos it sounds so cheesy..

Tumhi dekho na yeh kya hogaya - Did you see what had happened

Tumhara hoon main aur tum meri - I became yours and you, mine

Ho! Sach yeh ikraar hai, sach yehi pyar hai - This confession is true, and this love is true

Jaagi jaagi si hai phir bhi khwabon mein hai - It’s real but yet its like a dream

...diego's little league...

ah..am wondering wat to blog about today..pretty much everyone has had something to say about the games we had over the weekend..even though its all over, its not really really over..there's still much to settle and i m still receiving feedback on it - some good, mostly bad..so wait a while before i post my super duper review on that..

back to other less interesting but nevertheless significant enuff happenings in my life which is worth being posted on my miserable blog..

today in history : 1st day at the morgue

first of all, i have to remark on the smell..its simply nauseating..and thanx to our timing, it had to be plop! rite in the middle of spring when temperatures are beginning to..soar?? not really - according to the weather forecast, temperature might drop again all the way down to 0 this saturday..any open mouths i see?? pathetic aint it??

anyway, the morgue..yeah it was nauseating..so we all had a dash of minyak cap kapak on our masks which helped to overcome the odour during the hour or so we were there..we got a guy..and group c got a lady..

my guy was in his fifties..actually we dunno y he died..though i was perfectly aware that i was in the morgue where there r ony dead bodies to see ( besides us of cos ), i was still half-consiously expecting to see the abdominal movements rhythmically to the breathing..the absence of the soft swishes of the ventilating machines, the blue-green coloured sheets, the tweet tweet of other life-support apparatus and such makes the overall condition very eerie..its not a feeling of fear of the dead bodies..more of a feeling of dread of death..heck, i dun wanna have my femoral arteries being ligated by some 3rd years haha..

so anyway, we had some time to practice ligation and suturing..operating on a corpse and a real live body isnt the same..my guy wud have had massive bleeding cos someone managed to poke thru his femoral vein, yikes..luckily, he's been dead for quite a while so it wasnt that bad..the surgeons make it look so simple..jus zoop, cut it open, snip and snap here, zap here zap there, no bleeding check, ligate and cut, throw that there, suture this, ooppss - bits of bleeding, zap it again, yeap, wipe wipe, clear? clear, suture, poke, thread, pull, criss cross knot, cut and walla, we're done, wakey wakey mister..

tiz a pity of wat happens to you in the end of all ends..you're left fully exposed on some stretcher or maybe even on the floor if you chose to die during the peak time of the year..then you get cut open and everything that was of significance when you were still breathin gets dug out and scrapped and wats not..and they dun even bother to stitch you up prettily for your funeral!! sheesh..

the lady we saw - well shaped eyebrows, hairless smooth legs, her nailvarnish of metallic pink shade was still fresh and unscratched and unscrapped, freshly shaved armpits ( group c was doin the axillary region so i noticed this - since we were prodding arnd wit my guy's lower extremities, he had a small appendectomy scar and seriously the left testis is very obviously lower than the right..) - the lady cudnt have been dead for more than a day, she was still very pale unlike my guy who was blue and red all over..i wonder if she had ever been prepared to die..i'm guessing she didnt consider that likely..

so thats the summary of the 1st day..came back and went for russian class from 2 - 5.30pm..thanx to group c ( we come across them very often indeed ), we didnt have to stay til the end of the lesson and thus didnt have to study after the control..

after that, it was dinner (?) and off to bed..i m sooooo exhausted, the fatigue catching up especially after the games episode and i slept and slept and slept to the point that i didnt even hear the alarm ringing..i recall having heard it sometime during my dream but i dun recall awaking..and so it rang and rang and rang again and again which must have driven nava mad..if it had, she still hasnt commented on it as of yet..hehe..shit..i need a good long sleep..thanx to the blasting music from the end of the corridor, i woke..and now i have fixated my earphones to my ears to block out the racket these people are making over a football game..god, u wud have thought they were in the leagues of diego maradona and the like from the way they are shouting out how they shud have kicked the ball..no exam ka??

...bored so decided to blog...

so the group d peepz have officially finished the general surgery cycle yesterday and stepped into operative surgery today..

general surgery - wat can i say??

it was a short cycle of 10 days to be exact, outta which we lost 3..so that was 7 very short days with vasenin..he was not all that bad as people previously claimed him to be..in fact, he was great!! we learnt quite a lot from him and didnt spend hours standing a good metre away from the op table everyday seeing nuthin but the back of the surgeon..no sir, we spent most of our time in class goin thru questions for exams, squinting at xrays and making silly jokes..dun we all think that he has the cutest smile 'winkz winkz'..

yeah so..today was the official 1st day of op surgery..we did instruments today..wow..surgeons shud have really fat fingers..my small dainty ones jus seem to slip rite thru the handle..yikes..so i think that i m gona have to join the kbbnn to buff up my phalanges..hehe..the surgeon in making..

actually the timing for ops is pathetic..i seriously wud hv preferred havin it earlier..there's much to study and i jus cant find the time to juggle between preparing for classes and exams..but anyway, the teacher seems cool..he made us do 300 stitches as home task..thats ok..and we'll be heading to the morgue tomoro..weee..

missing vasenin..sob sob..

...the white la salle T...

everyone has instincts..that inner voice that tells u wat to do..the one which warns you of wat might ensue..many a times, i fail to heed this 'instinct'..like everytime it tells me to study for example - i never do and end up regreting it sometime down the road..every time before exams in fact..and in those times, the stress and disappointment overwhelm me and i start to scold myself and in extreme situations, a slight pat on the cheeks wud help me to continue concentrating..

my point is..we always regret wat we fail to do even when we realise that the particular action is not the best..sometimes, its because we procrastinate, we seem to think that there's always tomorrow to settle that stalling bznes or someone else will do it, why shud i bother or its a small thing, wont make much difference or wat can i say or do that will make a difference ??

thats the thing that was running thru my mind when we sent off hari who headed back home yesterday due to some unresolvable health problems..

when he was here, normal and healthy, most of us never bothered to get to know him..and by us, i refer to most of the fourth floor occupants including myself..very few of us knew him well..but i wudnt place the blame entirely on our ignorance - he did patfak and thus was the only person who was not a 3rd year on the floor, he was very quiet and most of the time you rarely notice that he's there..

i myself rarely had much to say to him since i was at a lost at finding the right words..and the only times that i even see him outside of the block is in the kitchen, even then on very rare occassions..and even when he was in the hospital, i never once went to visit him..classes and the games are not excuses when some others cud find the time..i guess i jus told myself that it was jus some normal fever and he will turn out alright in the end..

well anyway, now he's gone and we dont kno if he wud ever return to resume his studies..it wud be a terrible loss if he doesnt because he's really brilliant..i suppose we cud all have made a little more effort to make him feel more at home..whenever he was missing from any events we had, we never bothered to go and drag him down to join in the fun..we rarely talked about random things like we always do..

we had so much time to say something which we never did..and when he was leaving yesterday, i still didnt know wat to say to him..take care and get well soon - when i never bothered to find out how he was ?? come back again - to the place where there were so few people he can relate to ?? dont worry and trust in god to put things right - where's the sense in all that happened ??

if he ever does return, which i really really hope so, i wish that we wud all get a second chance to put things right..sorry..

...warning-harsh-languaged content you might not want to read...

ah well..i suppose its true when they say that every dog has its day..i'll have mine too - with a swishing tail mind you..

its true too when they say that the doctor is a multitalented person - he has to know how to draw, how to communicate, how to listen and how to talk, how to touch and how to hold, how to write and keep track of multiple things..in short, he or she has to know how to juggle - from being a healthcare provider to a journalist, a detective, a hygienist, an economist, a lawyer and as i found out today, an accountant..

well, forgive my ass because i didnt take up accounting in spm cos it was never really my interest..i did go for several tuition classes but i decided against it in the end cos it jus didnt make sense..i'm sure none of us ever keeps complete track of our expenses and lists down everything..so all this summarised accounts and debits and credits make as much sense to me as chemistry wud to the lawyer..

no matter how much of planning goes into something, there are always some last minute problems surfacing..and when i say last minute, its really last minute..but i suppose its in the opinion of some people that you should have exactly wat u need - no more and no less..and worse is that you complain when you fucking well know that you would have done a job which might as well be shoved up your ass cos thats where it belongs..

there's only one thing that i want to remind myself from now on..10 days..9 days..8 days..other negative aura such as bullshit remarks, snide comments, fake enthusiasm, assholes flashing before my eyes and a couple of other terms which i do not wish to state here - will jus bounce off me..say wat u want, i dun give a fuck..wat is more important to me right now is to do wat i have volunteered to do and support others who sacrificed so much and have done all within their power - to you guys, i'm with you..

10 days to go..

...promo...

today was the 1st day of the surgery cycle..and who else cud be my teacher for this 10-day cycle but vasenin..only half my class turned up for the lesson..hehe..unavoidable cos the rest of us were involved in the games so we had to go to kstovo to get acquainted to the place..

all in all, i think that everyone was quite satisfied with the place..its huge and superb..seriously you guys shud come around during the games..promo promo..at least it was better than the initial plan of renting several places for each games and travelling around in between..

and yeah..as you wud have noticed from the papers slipped into the notice slots all around the hostels, there's the ledger and the notice askin for some extra $$$..there have been some fair amount of complaints on this..i understand that its hefty, as some pointed out that instead of spending it during the carnival, they cud have jus channeled it straight and avoided digging their pockets twice..reasonable argument..

the latest increase is to compensate for the last minute unavoidable expenses that surfaced..these expenses are absolutely necessary..and i do hope that the end product of all the efforts especially of the president's wud pay off spectacularly..

FORGET YOUR FOE AND PAST WAR,

FORGET WRONG TURNS DONE SO FAR,

COME AND JOIN US IN MAKING THIS EVENT SPECTACULAR - COS IT WOULD LOSE ALL MEANING IF WE OURSELVES TURN OUR BACKS ON IT AND ALL EFFORTS SO FAR WOULD HAVE BEEN IN VAIN..THERE WUDNT BE ANOTHER GAMES IN NIZHNY FOR A VERY LONG TIME TO COME..SO MAKE THIS IS ONE WHICH IS SO CLOSE TO YOUR HOME CLOSER TO YOUR HEART..

...coffee talk...

my posts are being very well spaced these days, for 3 main reasons :

> i m at a blur on what to write about

> preoccupied with the games due in 2 weeks time

> no happy-time for self-indulgence

i have become more of a blog-stalker as you wud call it..i click on to many peoples pages - most of them at random and some which i drop a visit to quite regularly enuff..some are enlightening, most r crappy like mine..hehe..

and so here i sit, thinking of the next best line that pops into my head..blogging is no longer a spontaneous reaction - it has become a straining one where i have to gaze out the window, roll about a few ideas in my head..

ah..and here is one..

so..the other day, i was jus havin this random chat..and the focus of the conversation suddenly turned to my consumption of coffee..

i wud like to stress here that i am not an addict..no sir..a cup a day does not equal to addiction..yeah, previously it was around 3 - the max i ever had in a day was 5 ( or was it 6?? )..yeah..i know that was madness - but it was not of double espresso concentration..jus 3/4 of a tablespoon of well-spread-out coffee + 1 tablespoon sugar diluted in a mug-full of hot water..safe enuff??

so anyway, in the past year or so, i have limited my daily coffee intake to once in the morning..and then pops up the question : why not substitute it with milk or tea or juice which is definitely more healthy??

yep..that wud be the healthier way of life which may or may not add a few years to my lifetime..for the following reasons, i think that coffee is a better option..

> i gotta have breakfast so i prefer to have my biscuits dipped in hot coffee than cold milk and juice is definitely not an option

> milk finishes fast..and of all the brands, i prefer parmalat 3.5% which you rarely get elsewhere..

> juice also finishes fast..

> tea..tastes very diluted..

> juice and milk is relatively the more expensive deal..

so, that basically leaves no room for substitution..and when i was browsing thru yahoo yesterday or the day b4, i came across this :

Coffee's ability to forestall mental decline has been the subject of some very interesting research lately. First, a study from France showed that women who drank three or more cups of coffee daily were 30 percent less likely to have memory problems at age 65 than women who drank a single cup of coffee or less. The study, published in the August 7, 2007, issue of Neurology, found that the benefit of drinking coffee increased with age: memory decline among women over 80 who drank three cups or more daily was about 70 percent less likely than it was among those who drank one cup or less. You can get the same effect from tea - but this study found that you would have to drink about two cups of tea for every one of coffee. The researchers said that the caffeine in coffee (and tea) acts as a cognitive stimulant and also helps reduce levels of beta amyloid protein in the brain. Accumulations of this protein underlie Alzheimer's disease. More than 7,000 men and women recruited in three cities in France participated in the study. None had dementia at the outset; the researchers retested the participants' cognitive performance two and four years later. While men didn't benefit from coffee drinking in the French study, an earlier one that tracked 676 healthy, older men in Finland, the Netherlands and Italy for 10 years found that the coffee drinkers there had lower rates of age-related cognitive decline than men who didn't drink coffee. Here, too, maximum protection was seen in men who drank three cups a day. That study was published in the European Journal of Clinical Nutrition in August, 2006. If you like coffee, and it has no adverse effects on you, you may benefit mentally over time. On the down side are coffee's well-documented side effects: anxiety, insomnia, tremor and irregular heartbeat. It can also irritate the digestive system, bladder and prostate. If you experience any of these effects, you're better off avoiding coffee (and decaf, which still contains substances that may contribute to the symptoms) no matter what potential health benefits it may afford. The way coffee affects you is your surest guide to whether or not you should be drinking it at all and, if so, how much. If you don't like coffee's effects, switch to tea. I consider it a healthier alternative. more coffee?? no thanks..

...chop chop...

jus came back from the dean's..geez..never go out into town after 5 - the buses are packed, the roads brimming with cars..the usual 20-minute ride becomes an hour..the meeting with the dean's people went on okay..like usual, they were jabbering away in russian and we all had to really prick up our ears to catch wat they say..all in all, i m ok wit it..yeah, they ask a lot of questions but i wud say that they are a more enthusiastic lot than most of our malaysians here..

there are still some who are clueless about when the games are..to these guys - dont bother..comments, complaints, mutterings..geez, i've heard em all - every possible reason one can come up wit to escape watevr they can do..countless smses unheeded..yeah, we got a poke from the dean's people - how come those responsible can be so irresponsible, you are depending on these people to be in charge?? okie, not my place to judge..wat are we supposed to say??

on a different note, we are havin a spring carnival!! loads of fun and games..please spread the word around if you can..since its a friday, take a break..dont cook and spend your monthly mcd allowance wisely - by buying the food we r preparing!! the reason we r havin this event is to raise enuff funds so that we can hire buses to transport you people to the sports complex..so that we can all go show our support and we dun have to dig deeper into our pockets..

feel as if all the whey has been squeezed outta me..i wanna sleep n sleep n sleep..but no..2moro i have a control which i gotta study for..that 30mins nap was simply not enuff..well, at least i didnt skip the lecture - at 110pm, there were only 3 of us in the entire lecture hall - all together 7/8 of us showed up for pathological physiology..more n more writing..sit up straight, people..lectures will be ending only end of may..chop chop..

...aftereffects...

haizz..its sunday..thats another week gone unfruitfully..had many plans to make today a good bargain but had to scrap out all that cos i had a few attacks of dehydration - vomitting and diarrhoea..aftereffects of yesterday's hype..which left me completely drained and weak..

been so busy these past few days that i lost track of time completely..before i realised, its already april..wow..where does time fly to indeed..and nope, i didn't keep track of dates either - but i still remember jus as if it was yesterday..

off to meeting..